Mindless eating

I am coming off such a high from this weekend and some lows.  I always knew I was over weight, morbidly obese even, but never saw it as a big hindrance. Yes, I know it did get in the way of me doing some things, but never like it smacked me in the face this weekend.

My sister had a party celebrating her 45th birthday and I walked the entire mall and could not find tights to fit me. Yeah, they had plus size tights, just not my plus size.  I was crushed, my feelings were hurt and I was devastated, but most of all embarrassed.  My poor husband walked the mall with me and never said a word. I think the expression on my face said it all.

This is another wake up call to stop the mindless eating and start the eating to live. Start the exercising to live. Why, because I want to live.

Signed,
Not giving up.

Ciao

Thinking instead of just eating.

I am in such a good mood. I could not finish my plate. That has been happening more and more. I am listening to my body and getting to a comfortable place with my eating. I am not piling food on top of food on my plate. I am balancing out my portions and I am liking it. I noticed that I used to eat past my place of comfortable on to a place of being "stuffed", which we all know is not a good feeling.

I am also noticing that because I have started this journey over (again), I am very, how do I say it, emotional about it. I am letting things people do and say bother me in reference to what I can and can't accomplish. Yes, people your biggest supporters can also be your worst critics.  I don't think they intend to do it, just that some people don't realize just because you think it you don't have to say it. I am guilty of that sometimes myself. 

Sometimes I sit and visualize a smaller me or I remember a past me that was a different size and I think, I can be that girl. I am going to be that girl. No one can do it for me. I have to do it for myself.
I didn't get to this size over night and it is not going to go away over night. I will have set backs. I will have struggles, but I will NOT give up on ME.

Well nighty night

Ciao

Life..

So much has happened since my last post. Some good and some bad, but as they say, that is life. Well here I am starting over once again. I have to ask myself why do I keep doing this over and over again. What is my problem?? Why can't I stick with anything and be consistent and get to goal? That is what I am going to spend the next few weeks getting to the bottom of. I have to figure out why and conquer this.

I am back counting my steps, tracking what I eat on myfitness pal and holding myself accountable for my actions. Best of all, I am back blogging. I love writing. It is a passion of mine that I don't indulge in. Why you ask? Well, that is another thing I am going to have to get to the bottom of. I know they say you change as you get older and things rarely stay the same, but I have to ask myself why am I not doing the things I love, the things I enjoy. Why am I always putting everyone first and myself last? 

I will get answers to all these questions. So stick with me, while I figure this here thing called my life out. Enjoy the ride.

Until next time,
Ciao!